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“You’re Not Touching the Kingswood”!

Remember Kingswood Country, the Australian sitcom that screened from 1980 to 1984 on Channel 7?

The show featured real Aussie humour and although it was seen by many as racist and sexist, it was in fact meant to mock those attitudes held by many Australians at the time.

Ingswood Country won the Most Popular Comedy Award in 1981 and 1982 at the Logies.

Kingswood Country won the Most Popular Comedy Award in 1981 and 1982 at the Logies.

“Ted” Bullpitt was played by Ross Higgins, a white Australian, conservative, bigoted, Kingswood loving factory worker and World War 2 veteran, who recalls his difficult childhood in ever more exaggerated ways and endlessly declares his love for his car, the Holden Kingswood..

Some of Ted sayings included; “The Kingswood! You’re not taking the Kingswood!”, “Bloody woman!” “Pickle me grandmother!” and “Don’t ‘dad’ me, I’m your father!” Ted also loved his greyhounds, his garden statue of Neville the Aboriginal, his chair in front of the telly and hated the ‘bloody nuns’.

The show mainly centred on the conflict between the conservative sexist & racist Ted & his progressive children with his poor long suffering wife Thelma stuck in the middle. His daughter’s husband, Bruno (played by Lex Marinos), was the son of Italian immigrants and Ted objected to him completely; referring to him as ‘that bloody wog’.

Thelma was played by Judi Farr and she was cast as the traditional housewife trapped by Ted’s conservative family views, but she often got her own back on Ted including often using old Myer receipts she had hidden in a drawer, used to fool Ted into thinking she paid less for a new item, than she really had.

Others in the cast included Peter Fisher as Craig, Ted’s son, and daughter Greta was actress Laurel McGowan.

I don’t think the Kingswood was ever seen on the show but was referred to on many occasions and usually several times in any one episode.

“You’re not taking the Kingswood, I’ve just ducoed the tyres” or “I’ve just glad-wrapped the aerial!” or “I’ve just Mr Sheened the number-plate!”

Photo from You Tube. Ross Higgins as Ted and Judi Farr as his poor long suffering wife Thelma.

Photo from You Tube. Ross Higgins as Ted and Judi Farr as his poor long suffering wife Thelma.

Other times the humour was based on the more traditional comedy situations of poorly thought-out schemes of Ted’s (usually get-rich-quick); class differences between the suburban Bullpitts and Ted’s brother Bob, the Datsun dealer, and his upwardly-mobile wife Merle.

It was at around the time that Australian culture was undergoing a major change with multiculturalism, the women’s movement was forging ahead the political landscape was shifting and Ted was finding it difficult to adjust to the changes that were happening all around him.

The show won the Most Popular Comedy Award in 1981 and 1982 at the Logies. Some of the guest stars in the series included Graham Kennedy, Noeline Brown, Bruce Spence, Robert Hughes and Cornelia Frances.

There have been 4 sets of DVDs released, each of 13 episodes, featuring the ‘Best Of’ the series plus there are a number of the episodes also up on You Tube.

Some of Ted’s other sayings include;

(when asked how his day went) “Bloody shambles, of course!”

“Bloody Wogs!”

“Bloody woman!”

“Blow ’em all up!” (anybody who was annoying him at the time).

“Watch it mate!”

“No wonder the country’s in a mess”

And of course, “Bloody Nuns”.

10 Responses to “You’re Not Touching the Kingswood”!

  1. neville November 6, 2014 at 10:06 am #

    loved it ! I’m not taking the kingswood out, I’ve just shampooed the wheels.

  2. Richard November 6, 2014 at 12:42 pm #

    The Kingswood? You’re not taking the Kingwood. I’ve just polished the dipstick. Every time I take it out, it’s covered in oil!

  3. Peter H December 14, 2014 at 4:48 am #

    The Kingswood? You’re not taking the Kingswood. I just Glad Wrapped the aerial.

  4. paul December 28, 2014 at 8:17 pm #

    Leave your money on the fridge.

  5. Keith January 12, 2015 at 12:45 am #

    Shame they can’t make a new series of it … PC gone mad

  6. nathan December 4, 2015 at 8:34 pm #

    I love ted bullpit

  7. Danny January 24, 2016 at 12:52 am #

    Anyone remember the names of Ted’s. Greyhounds?

    Think abt it.

    Think a bit more

    Gay acubra
    Repco lad

  8. vanessa ann merriman December 31, 2019 at 5:26 pm #


  9. vanessa ann merriman December 31, 2019 at 6:37 pm #


  10. Lee August 10, 2021 at 8:23 pm #

    I just chromed the fan-belt!

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